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2007/5/28

Surreal zoo experience

I'm at Woodland Park Zoo. A teenaged boy just approached me and said, "Excuse me, sir, but is my anus bleeding?"

I said that to my knowledge, no, it wasn't.

He walked away with his friend, laughing madly.

I suspect that this is some karmic response to my own adolescent crap.

Probably a dare. But, I encourage parents to teach their kids that it's better to A) avoid behavior which could result in anal hemmorage and B) seek qualified medical assistance should relevant symptoms spontaneously occur.

Back to the zoo.

下午 03:56 | 新增回應 | 永久連結 | 發佈至您的部落格

2007/5/22

Mexican baby killer whale in tug of love

I saw this headline on a site today:

Mexican baby killer whale in tug of love.

Consider the different meanings of the following:

Mexican baby killer whale in tug of love.	A whale is pulling something, is in a custody dispute or in a tug boat.
Mexican baby, killer whale in tug of love.	A young Mexican child is struggling with a killer whale for something, possibly in a loving manner, competing for affection or are in a tug boat.
Mexican, baby killer, whale in tug of love.	A person from Mexico, a person who has killed a baby and a whale are struggling for something, possibly in a loving manner, competing for affection or are in a tug boat.
Mexican baby, killer, whale in tug of love.	A young Mexican child, a murderer and a whale are struggling for something in a loving manner, competing for affection or are in a tug boat.
Mexican, baby killer whale in tug of love.	A person from Mexico and a young whale are struggling for something in a loving manner, competing for affection or are in a tug boat.
Mexican baby killer, whale in tug of love.	Either: 1) Someone who killed a young Mexican child; or 2) Someone from Mexico who murdered a baby; or 3) A young Mexican child who has murdered someone Is struggling with a whale, competing for affection or in a tug boat.

During my search for punctuation, I actually saw the 2^nd and last interpretations, then I realized there wasn’t any punctuation and the first entry is the intended message. No error committed by the author (though there’s still ambiguity around the “in tug of love.”)

上午 09:45 | 新增回應 | 永久連結 | 發佈至您的部落格 | Language

2007/5/1

"Fuck art, let's dance!"

Nearly everything wrong with the vapid branch of the Hollywood "talent" tree is reflected in Lohan's quotes in the article linked below.

It's nice that Lohan's perspective missed the filters. Technically, her publicist should be canned for letting her speak independently. However, I firmly believe that while it's bad form to cause a disaster to occur, sometimes the greater good is well-served by allowing a disaster to run its own course, unimpeded.

Quick recap:

“I wouldn’t ever want them to not take my picture,” the “Mean Girls” star told Nylon magazine. “I’d be worried. I’d be like ‘Do people not care about me?’ ”

Perfect example of the "insecure actresses" in Tool's Ænema (yeah, my cultural god is better than your cultural god.)

“I want to get a nomination. I want to win an Oscar. I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being ‘the party girl.’ I hate that. I bust my [bleep] when I’m filming, and when I gave time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance.”

Art? Who is Art? Maybe if he's cute, or could get me nominated...

Quote

Paparazzi preventing Lohan's Oscar dreams? - Gossip: The Scoop - MSNBC.com

上午 06:52 | 新增回應 | 永久連結 | 發佈至您的部落格 | Entertainment